


I'll get funny again

by sandyk



Series: season 3 tried to be canon post eps [9]
Category: Superstore (TV)
Genre: F/M, post ep 3.09
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-12
Updated: 2018-01-12
Packaged: 2019-03-03 18:44:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,149
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13347246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sandyk/pseuds/sandyk
Summary: In the future, Amy thinks, her party will go much better, like, next year. She won't need Dina or anyone's help.





	I'll get funny again

**Author's Note:**

> No money for me, not mine. For the trope bingo spot FUTURE FIC. Opening quote and title from the National's start a war.

_Whatever went away, I'll get it over now_  
_I'll get money, I'll get funny again_

In the future, Amy thinks, her party will go much better, like, next year. She won't need Dina or anyone's help. 

She has a limited imagination, that's her problem. Because Amy pictures herself in a couple, of course. A man shaped helper who is probably shaped like Jonah and is probably Jonah. She's sitting on her bed, on three layers of new sheets and Dina has left in some of Adam's clothes which is all that would fit her. She isn't even drunk. But, fuck it, she had a shit day. In the future, the party will be fine and Jonah will be her partner, her boyfriend, they'll put that thing, that matzoh thing on the door. 

She grabs her phone and looks it up because matzoh is totally wrong. Mezzuzah. She'll have a mezzuzah on the door because she will have Jonah as a partner and also they will have sex. They will be having sex, all the time.

She pauses a moment to push the image of Jerusha and Glenn having sex out of her head. She read that works. Visualize pushing the image away. Unfortunately it turns into Jonah and Kelly having sex. She pushes that image away, too. Then she looks up porn on her phone so she is picturing anything else. The first porn she finds the guy kind of looks like Adam. She rubs her head. She remembers that Dina sends her porn links all the time. Dina always sends Amy links that say things like "do you think this one looks like Jonah? Except Jonah's circumcised." Or "this woman looks like Kelly, but way less annoying." "I am convinced this is actually Marcus." "Do you think the woman in this who takes two dicks in her poophole used to work at Cloud 9? Didn't she always wear polka dots?"

Amy searches through her email and finds the one where Dina thought the guy looked like Jeff with hair. She watches it for a few minutes and the guy looks nothing like Jeff. Unless Dina knows more about Jeff's possible tattoos than Amy does. But finally, she's just thinking about how stupid that guy's tattoos are. 

So, in the future, it will be Amy and she will have a man. For the purpose of this flight of imagination it will be Jonah. Kelly will be dating someone else. Someone taller than Jonah. Kelly found someone who made her so happy and dumped Jonah's ass. So Kelly is happy. And Jonah is happy with Amy. 

Jonah and Emma will have helped her get the wifi fixed and the TV will only need one damn remote so it's already on when people come over. Jonah will say, "we're ordering in, seriously, I think last time cursed the kitchen." Amy will agree and laugh. 

She'll be laughing and laughing and Jonah will have ordered from some weird restaurant so Amy has to order pizza behind his back. Something always goes wrong, ha ha. Jonah will also have ordered something from the vegan Chinese restaurant just for Dina to thank her again for her services last year. 

It will go great, next year. Jonah will help her clean and they'll be pushing people out the door to leave. No one will want to leave. They'll be totally out of pizza and have days of leftovers from the weird restaurant Jonah picked. Jonah will insist on cleaning up because if you leave stuff for the morning, the morning is just awful. He'll say, "I learned that living with Garrett. I did way too much of that."

But he doesn't let Amy clean. "Go on upstairs," he'll say. 

Everyone will laugh at Amy's jokes about the dresses. 

Emma will bring one of her friends who is not in any way her boyfriend because Emma doesn't want to date and isn't dating, all she cares about is studying and going to the University of Chicago, and both Emma and her friend will also laugh at Amy's jokes about the dresses. At one point, Amy will overhear Emma's cool friend telling Elias Amy is a cool mom. Take that, Elias, Amy thinks. 

Amy will have a new dress. Maybe with a little give because now that Amy's thinking about it, she'll be pregnant. She and Jonah will know but they won't tell anyone else. Jonah will be so nervous and Amy will be cool and together.

Amy sits up and goes downstairs. She's convinced herself she needs to clean now and not in the morning. It's 2 am and why not? She puts things in recycling. She throws away every scrap of food in the house. It's an overreaction but she feels okay with that. She starts disinfecting the refrigerator and the freezer. She scrubs the floor. She sits back on her calves and immediately her feet start to cramp. She sits back on her butt. She googles how to cleanse her microwave and possibly her entire house of cursed spirits. 

She puts a cup of vinegar in the microwave and warms it up, which is a good first step. Then she cleans the inside of the microwave. Then she repeats that three times. 

She looks around and everything looks fine. It all looks fine. She's not doing so bad. There really aren't shambles here. She over-committed on one stupid party. She needed to do more preparation. Amy always used to do all the preparation and leave Adam his one dumb task. She shouldn't have abandoned that. That's how Amy got into college. That's why she's a good shift supervisor.

She stands up and keeps googling cleansing rituals. Maybe she'll throw away everything in the house except the things Emma likes. 

It was nice that Jonah was acting like her friend again. Like, he just helped her, lied to her to make her feel better. Which was really nice of him. 

She sighs. She's exhausted. But preparation is the key. Make lists, do things in order. She writes down ingredients for each of the cleansing rituals she's bookmarked. She makes a grocery list. She grabs a cardboard box and starts chucking things in it. She starts with all the gifts from Adam's parents she has never heard Emma say she liked. Then all the things Amy is just plain sick of. The walls look pretty bare. Blankets and throws are in there, too.

She opens the front door and traces with her finger where the mezzuzah would go. Maybe in a year her idea of her future will be completely different. The whole idea of Jonah will be in her cardboard box to be discarded. 

She hopes not, a little. For a minute, as she walks back to her bedroom, she imagines a list of what she needs to be ready for her future with Jonah.


End file.
